>No more playing Russian Marching songs over the speakers
>Stop hiding the mannequin
>Stop giving customers discounts for besting you in a game of riddles
>No more playing GERMAN marching songs over the speakers.
>None of the guns were designed to shoot down police helicopters
>There will not be throwing knife competitions at the Christmas party
>No more marching songs of any kind. Regardless of country of origin
>Employees will be reprimanded for kicking open doors and acting like they’re in Afghanistan.
>The Chechens are not coming
>None of the pre-owned guns were acquired from drug lords
>We did NOT sponsor any civil conflicts in Africa.
>Our employees do not moonlight as soldiers of fortune.
>30 seconds in the microwave will not remove built up carbon.
>Stop telling customers the pitting on surplus rifles is from Nazi blood.
>Glitter glue is not lewd
>Stop selling rifles based on the distance at which they could engage political officials.
>Stop referring to the Youth Shooting Program as Child Soldier Indoctrination.
>We do not “rumble” with other gun shops in clandestine street fights for dominance.
